Book Review: Why Not Me? by Mindy Kailing

Let's be clear about one thing: I am obsessed with this book. Mindy Kailing's "Why Not Me?" is the perfect read for every young entrepreneur, actress, or human being. Scratch that, it's the perfect read for anyone of any age who needs a great laugh or has big dreams.

Mindy's writing style is candid, blunt, witty, dry, and hilarious. She tells stories so well that it feels like you're listening to your best friend catch you up on the latest in her love life and career. She has a great way of not taking herself or the business seriously, and as a young actress who works closely with a lot of other artists, it's so refreshing and a great reminder to be the same way.

She also speaks volumes to women, encouraging them to adopt the lifestyle and thinking of "why not me?", instead of holding themselves back or worrying their dreams won't come to pass. For someone so successful, she's easily able to relate to, and really does stir up a feeling of knowing that I can live out my dreams, too. I definitely had a point where I felt "wait a second, why not me? I can totally do this!" which is empowering and awesome. I particularly love the section where she talks about her tv show being cancelled. Any other human would have been knocked down a bit or felt defeated, and instead she simply decided something amazing would happen and The Mindy Project would stay in production. And it did! Almost immediately. As a reader, you learn so much about her mindset, consistent positive thinking, and her spirit that simply can't be defeated. Mindy Kailing is surely someone to look up to.

If you love celebrity news or insider info as to the on-goings of Hollywood or the behind-the-scenes of a TV show, this book is for you. She certainly doesn't gossip, but tells great stories about the people and experiences she's found herself working with. Stand out stories include visits to the White House, and what it's like in the writers room of The Mindy Project.

I love Mindy Kailing, and admire her even more after reading "Why Not Me?". If you read it, let me know what you think!

This review is part of Bloggers for Books, and the book "Why Not Me?" was given to me in exchange for my honest review.

remember: mustard seed coaching has moved here: www.lovemustardseedco.com 

Worth It; Or, Another Lesson from Layla June

 

print found here

I posted an instagram the other day about Miss Layla June's tendency to throw middle of the night one-pup parties. She's the organizer of the event, and the only one who knows about it ahead of time. She rests up all day so that somewhere around 2 am she decides it's time to play. She crawls on my head, plays with my hair, sneezes and hacks up furballs, fluffs the blankets, bothers Henry, and jumps on and off the bed several times.

Layla June is not what I expected that sunshiney Saturday in Hollywood when we first met. My sweet, gentle darling was a ninja in secret, waiting until I signed the adoption papers to really get comfortable. That being said, she is a blessing and a gift to me in countless ways. Every time she drives me crazy or does something naughty, it really doesn't matter in the end. Her love outweighs her frustrating qualities. It's hard, but she's worth it.

That got me thinking: isn't everything great in this world part of that category? The things we never expected to be so hard, or take so long, or be so challenging, very often tend to be even better than we expected and totally worth it. I asked on instagram and got answers like:

• "My 3 month old daughter! She's not at all what I expected and neither is motherhood! It's harder than I could have imagined and yet it's totally worth it, like you said!"
• "Marriage! Even the second time around. We have to be careful of the fairytales that tell us at the end of the live story we live happily ever after. We have to work on the in between."
• "Recovering from brain surgery. I thought I'd be done by now and instead, I'm still in the thick of it. I had convinced myself that it was all about attitude but evidently my body disagrees."  
• "Madison. Madison is harder than I ever assumed and she's only a dog." 

That last one is from a fellow dog mama and made me laugh quite a bit.  But LOOK at these answers. These are hard things. Marriage, raising another human, recovering from brain surgery for goodness sake. Hard things that are so much more worth it than we imagined.

In our insta-everything world, we very often want what we want when we want it, like, right now. Now! Immediately! How great would it be if babies came potty trained, or we all instinctively knew how to do the things we want to pursue, or degrees were able to be picked off trees? Great, yes, but also kind of sad. It's in the earning, the navigating of these struggles, that we find the deeper joy in what we want.

Pursuing an acting career is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Luckily. But it is so much harder and more complicated than I thought it would be. For years (yeaaarrrss) I have wanted to be a part of Pilot Season, the time when all new tv shows are pitched and a pilot is made to determine if it will be a new show on a network. This year is the first year I am auditioning for pilots. Guess what? It's not at all what my conceptual idea of it was. I dreamed of pilot season as a time where I'd be in LA, driving from studio to studio, glamorous, looking great, and it being so simple. The reality of it is an insane amount of work and memorizing pages of lines very quickly, rushing from audition to audition, putting myself on tape nonstop to be sent to LA production teams. Last week, I even hid when I saw another audition come in. And yet, it's totally worth it.

Then there's Love. The conceptual idea of love is ever so delightful, right? Raising two rescue dogs out of their fears and behaviors continues to be incredibly challenging, and yet - so much love. Unconditional love. So worth the frustrations. Loving other people is not always an easy piece of cake but we know that's it's worth it in the end. A friend once told me he wanted to be wealthy, or at least set financially, before meeting anyone to be in a relationship with. I noted how much more it might mean to build up a life together, to grow side by side into success and wealth, that he didn't have to be "perfect" before allowing love into his heart. You'd have thought I just explained the meaning of life, his eyes got so wide. And yet, how often do we see folks in their 20's and 30's pushing off serious relationships until they get their lives "together", or have more money, or a higher title in the office, or some kind of success. In the meantime, they give up on people who they really care about and are missing the experience of something that, yes, can be really hard, yet is really incredible and worth navigating. Our expectations of relationships and what they're "supposed" to look like crush the chance of real love before we're even out of the gate. We can't control the order in which we are given things in our lives. But we can embrace each one with it's unique struggles and triumphs. Walking away from the hard things guarantees missing out on lessons and love carved out just for you.

It can seem tempting to give up on your dreams, your loved ones, your monetary goals, that crazy idea you have in the back of your head, but don't. If it's really hard, it's definitely worth it. And when you get those little glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel, it makes it easier to keep going. Let each blessing hidden in your struggle turn into a stepping stone to launch you to the next step along the journey.

Okay, you tell me: what's something that has been unexpectedly hard in your life but is totally worth it? And if you have any hints on getting a Chihuahua-Ninja to sleep through the night, I'll take those, too ;) 

And Then 24 Hours Later.

// Let me tell you about this day.

It was so chaotic. An early start, freezing cold weather, my phone going off seemingly nonstop. I was trying to answer every single text and call, my hands shaking with frustration, my head ready to explode. A ton of subway rides uptown and back downtown. So much to do, so much pressure. An audition where I was recording take after take after take convinced I was sucking so hard. A meeting where I was convinced I worse than suck, I'm boring, and ugly, and all sorts of painful thoughts. Even more texts and calls. Walking home, tears falling out of my eyes, the phone glued to my ear, and words tumbling out like "it's too much, I'm so overwhelmed, I'm so frustrated".

It was an ordeal.


// Let me tell you about this day.

It was filled with lots of awesome. An early start, chilly weather meant lots of layers, and my phone going off nonstop. I responded briefly with boundaries and non-negotiable sentences. I did what I could and ignored the rest because they could wait. A ton of subway rides up and down town, thinking about how cool it is that just two stops apart can feel like a whole other world, and how different the financial district feels from uptown. So much to do, so much excitement. An audition where I recorded take after take after take thinking that they really like me, enjoying the variety and getting to play with text. A meeting where I felt light and easy and made the other person laugh, enjoying their company and conversation. Being authentic to who I am and asking questions that matter. Walking home, hot chocolate in hand, laughing over how cold I am and praying for the people and animals stuck outdoors tonight, thanking God I had a home to go to.

It was an adventure.


Day 1 was yesterday. Day 2 was today. No difference other than a state of mind. I had an audition and a meeting on both days. I had certain other identical tasks on both days. You get to choose every day which route to go, ordeal or adventure. It's not based on the circumstances or the other people. Other people and lots of circumstances can suck, they just do. It doesn't mean you have to let them take you down.

Lately, more and more I hate the phrase "choose to be happy". Fuck that shit, most people have no idea how to actively choose to be happy. Moreover, I think it's insulting and frustrating to people who honestly cannot choose happiness, making them feel like less of a person because they think others can wake up and simply say "and today I'll be happy!", when they are fighting a war daily just to get out of bed. But here's what I fully support: choose to learn how to choose happiness. Learn how to navigate your state of mind, and know the navigation tools are different for everyone. Some people need a learned practice, some people need prayer, some people need exercise, some need all three, some need none of the above. Find out what you need and learn how to utilize it to your advantage so you can make the choice to have the adventure every day, so you can choose this day, so you can choose yourself, so you can then choose happiness. Fight like hell to learn what you need so that you can go from day 1 above to day 2 above in less than a handful of hours. Fight like hell for your right to be happy. The ordeal is bullshit, the adventure is real.

Words That Matter

Some recent testimonials from clients. Every time an email like this shows up in my inbox, I'm blown away. We're in this together, friends. Spread kindness, help where you can, use your gifts, believe in each other, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Fiddler, Friends & Features

You may have noticed a little absence here on le blog. That's due in part to lots of exciting things going on, including this little bit of news!

I am so excited to be performing at "Raising The Roof", a gala to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Fiddler On The Roof. Getting to be reunited with so many of the people that shaped my life as both a person and an actor, and getting to work among such legends, is amazing and unreal to me! 

There are a few tickets left for the event on June 9th at Town Hall in NYC. You can find more info and buy tickets here.

There are some very cool articles with amazing stories that you can see here and here.

I've also recently popped up on this blog (make sure to check out her style! so good), and in this Mother's Day post (warning: adorable baby photo of me is included).

Say it with me now: TRADITION!