Doggie Gift Round-Up; Or, Things I Want for H & L

Sometimes when I really need to zone out, I play a game called "look at dog related things". I have another version for baby/toddler clothing, and that addiction is really out of hand but definitely pays off when in need of a baby gift. I digress. So after a round of looking at things I want for me or my (fur) kids, I thought I'd share for anyone else obsessed with their furry little man or lady.
 
1. This necklace from Tamed & Awesome.

2. One of these bowties for Sir Henry Elliot the Great. This shop donates to National Mill Dog Rescue, too!

3. And this art print (customized with a Henry and a Layla, of course) because are you kidding me?

4. This lady bug collar/flower set, which is ever so delightful for a little Layla Ladybugger.

5. And two of these nose-print necklaces, thank you very much.

Okay, doggie mamas, what say you? What's the best pet present you've gotten or given?

Worth It; Or, Another Lesson from Layla June

 

print found here

I posted an instagram the other day about Miss Layla June's tendency to throw middle of the night one-pup parties. She's the organizer of the event, and the only one who knows about it ahead of time. She rests up all day so that somewhere around 2 am she decides it's time to play. She crawls on my head, plays with my hair, sneezes and hacks up furballs, fluffs the blankets, bothers Henry, and jumps on and off the bed several times.

Layla June is not what I expected that sunshiney Saturday in Hollywood when we first met. My sweet, gentle darling was a ninja in secret, waiting until I signed the adoption papers to really get comfortable. That being said, she is a blessing and a gift to me in countless ways. Every time she drives me crazy or does something naughty, it really doesn't matter in the end. Her love outweighs her frustrating qualities. It's hard, but she's worth it.

That got me thinking: isn't everything great in this world part of that category? The things we never expected to be so hard, or take so long, or be so challenging, very often tend to be even better than we expected and totally worth it. I asked on instagram and got answers like:

• "My 3 month old daughter! She's not at all what I expected and neither is motherhood! It's harder than I could have imagined and yet it's totally worth it, like you said!"
• "Marriage! Even the second time around. We have to be careful of the fairytales that tell us at the end of the live story we live happily ever after. We have to work on the in between."
• "Recovering from brain surgery. I thought I'd be done by now and instead, I'm still in the thick of it. I had convinced myself that it was all about attitude but evidently my body disagrees."  
• "Madison. Madison is harder than I ever assumed and she's only a dog." 

That last one is from a fellow dog mama and made me laugh quite a bit.  But LOOK at these answers. These are hard things. Marriage, raising another human, recovering from brain surgery for goodness sake. Hard things that are so much more worth it than we imagined.

In our insta-everything world, we very often want what we want when we want it, like, right now. Now! Immediately! How great would it be if babies came potty trained, or we all instinctively knew how to do the things we want to pursue, or degrees were able to be picked off trees? Great, yes, but also kind of sad. It's in the earning, the navigating of these struggles, that we find the deeper joy in what we want.

Pursuing an acting career is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Luckily. But it is so much harder and more complicated than I thought it would be. For years (yeaaarrrss) I have wanted to be a part of Pilot Season, the time when all new tv shows are pitched and a pilot is made to determine if it will be a new show on a network. This year is the first year I am auditioning for pilots. Guess what? It's not at all what my conceptual idea of it was. I dreamed of pilot season as a time where I'd be in LA, driving from studio to studio, glamorous, looking great, and it being so simple. The reality of it is an insane amount of work and memorizing pages of lines very quickly, rushing from audition to audition, putting myself on tape nonstop to be sent to LA production teams. Last week, I even hid when I saw another audition come in. And yet, it's totally worth it.

Then there's Love. The conceptual idea of love is ever so delightful, right? Raising two rescue dogs out of their fears and behaviors continues to be incredibly challenging, and yet - so much love. Unconditional love. So worth the frustrations. Loving other people is not always an easy piece of cake but we know that's it's worth it in the end. A friend once told me he wanted to be wealthy, or at least set financially, before meeting anyone to be in a relationship with. I noted how much more it might mean to build up a life together, to grow side by side into success and wealth, that he didn't have to be "perfect" before allowing love into his heart. You'd have thought I just explained the meaning of life, his eyes got so wide. And yet, how often do we see folks in their 20's and 30's pushing off serious relationships until they get their lives "together", or have more money, or a higher title in the office, or some kind of success. In the meantime, they give up on people who they really care about and are missing the experience of something that, yes, can be really hard, yet is really incredible and worth navigating. Our expectations of relationships and what they're "supposed" to look like crush the chance of real love before we're even out of the gate. We can't control the order in which we are given things in our lives. But we can embrace each one with it's unique struggles and triumphs. Walking away from the hard things guarantees missing out on lessons and love carved out just for you.

It can seem tempting to give up on your dreams, your loved ones, your monetary goals, that crazy idea you have in the back of your head, but don't. If it's really hard, it's definitely worth it. And when you get those little glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel, it makes it easier to keep going. Let each blessing hidden in your struggle turn into a stepping stone to launch you to the next step along the journey.

Okay, you tell me: what's something that has been unexpectedly hard in your life but is totally worth it? And if you have any hints on getting a Chihuahua-Ninja to sleep through the night, I'll take those, too ;) 

Dogs In Church

When I got to church yesterday, there was a massive St. Bernard pup sprawled out on the floor leading up the aisle I tend to sit off of. If you know me, you know this made. my. whole. day. I wanted to curl up on the floor with him (or her), but I felt like the owners might not be into it so I sat a few rows up.

It reminded me of something I wrote last summer, which I am copying and pasting below. Also it gives me an excuse to post photos of my babies ;)

Lastly, make sure to enter my current giveaway with Instead of Ashes! Girl is super talented so enter to win her beautiful art.

Without further adieu, I present to you A Black Lab Teaches Me Everything In Church:





I slid into the pew about ten minutes after mass had started. I'm a late person. I just am. When I left the apartment almost at the time church started, I figured I'd be much later than just ten minutes, so actually I was delighted with myself.

There was a homeless person in the pew in front of me, laying down, asleep, so there was a massive amount of seating open in that area. An invisible bubble of nonsense protection from whatever it is that people think they'll get from homeless people. For the latecomer here, this was great news, because it meant that I got a seat.

When I sat, I saw it; the flash of a long black tail whip up and around underneath the pew. And then my ears heard a familiar jingle of collar tags knocking into each other. And then out slid one paw, followed by the other, and bang, she was licking my feet. A beautiful black lab hanging out under the pew while her family took in the service. My kind of people. Her mom apologized profusely, but I shook her off. The only thing I could possibly think of to make a relaxing Sunday morning at church better, would be if there were dogs in every pew.

Every time she let out a little whimper, or thumped her head by accident, or jangled, or did one of the many other things that pups do, various people turned their heads, trying to place what the noise was. Add to this, the various screaming children who are either very upset, or are praising god in a way that adults somehow forget after age six. Parents who are shushing and hushing and rocking and reasoning. And then add the many other shuffles and sounds that come with a large amount of humans - jittery, cell phone having, busybusybusynewyorkers - all gathered in one quiet place. And I noticed something: the heads turning, the comments made, the stares and eye rolls and judgements. One couple got me, in particular. They were the first to whip their heads around when the sweet dog made a noise, every time. Yet they maintained a conversation between the two of them the entire mass. And this got me thinking.

Why were they here? To fulfill an obligation? Or because they wanted to be? Were they just punching in and out each week in order to earn enough star stickers to win extra good karma? And then ever further: Why do we do the things we do? Why do I do the things I do? What's the impulse? Reasoning?

I was speaking with a friend last night who mentioned they were considering making a decision based on filling their savings account. Now, you don't have to tell me about money. I'm an artist, for pete's sake. There are many moments where I'm like 'shoot I would be down to do that just to make the money'. Anyway, my answer to this was 'What do you want your life to look like? if you want to be in new york city, then be in new york city. If you want to feel secure knowing you have this check coming in and money being saved, then do that. If you want to move to, like, Atlanta, then move to Atlanta.' If she wants to make money right now, then she should absolutely do that. It's not for me to understand, it is only for her to do. Actively choose and do, based on what she wants for her life. Now, if the answer actually is that she wants to become a deep sea diver off the coast of some island but she's just too scared to pursue it.. well, that's a whole other thing. But if there's no fear, just an actual decision, then boom. There you go, do that.

I think this is one of the biggest blessings and curses of modern day living and freedom. We can literally choose anything that we want for our lives and then make it happen. Sure some choices come with a lot of hard work, a lot of money needed, a huge change, etc, but it's up to us. And there are so many choices, it can be overwhelming and much easier to stay where we're at, doing what we're doing, exactly as we are.

I'm rambling. I do this. I guess what I mean to say is: why are you doing the things you're doing? What do you want your life to look like? What would it look like if you took out a notebook and wrote out everything you want for your life, how you want it to look, where you want to be, heck even what sights and sounds and smells you want (or don't want) - what would it look like? And are you checking in with those ideas?

As for me, I've got a puppy friend here, and a blank notebook, and I believe it's high time to go sit by the water and check in with what I want, what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it. And then mayhaps enjoy an iced treat because holymoly it's hot.

Happy Sunday, friends.


Originally posted here.

Lessons In Patience; Or, How I Learned To Surrender At The Post Office

As soon as I put their leashes on, I started to doubt this idea. There was no way they'd make it the whole way, there was no way I could carry the mail and navigate my criss-crossing, zooming pups at the same time, and it was just dumb.

All of those negative thoughts meant one thing: I absolutely had to do it.

We had a typical start with Henry trying to partake in a sprinting competition that no one else knew was going on, and Layla trying to (literally) smell all the flowers along the journey of life, and me looking like I was about to be drawn and quartered the old fashioned way (is there a new way? not sure why I included old fashioned there..) with my left arm pulling as far as it can go to the left and the right arm pulling as far as it can go to the right, and the quiet whisper of the word 'help' escaping from my lips.

We had finally made it around the corner and I was sighing as we waited for Layla to fully sniff this particular blade of grass, when I turned to Henry and said, "Your sister sure does teach us patience, doesn't she?"

And that's when it hit me. She absolutely does. And I absolutely need it. And it's absolutely beautifully timed.

I like to believe I'm in control of my day, my life, and how things go. And I'm so not. Spoiler alert: neither are you! I can hear the sound of so many people clicking out of this blog post at this very moment, but it's true. I'm sorry, because I know how much you want to believe you are. Probably at least half as much as my control freak self wants to believe it.

But you know what's even more delicious than being that person who is totally in control? The person who is in full surrender. That is some yummy, sexy, powerful shit.

Our walk to the post office took much longer than it would have if I went alone, and I had to take deep breaths of patience several times. We don't learn how to surrender in one quick moment, it's something to keep practicing. I was convinced it must have been at least an hour or two by the time we got to the center of town, but the large clock told me it had only been about twenty minutes. Isn't it fascinating how freaking long everything feels when we just want to get there now now now? Don't we decide just exactly how long something should take and if it's any longer (or just feels it) we're stomping our feet in frustration. When really, in the grand scheme of things, we're just barely into the adventure, with everything carefully and thoughtfully planned out for us ahead of time.

When we made it to the post office, and I popped those letters into the mailbox, I pretty much pumped my arms into the air and cheered, and announced that 'we made it, you guys, we made it!', with the exhaustion and pride that one might attribute to, say, someone who had just journeyed across the ocean on a raft. And you better believe I hope some passersby heard me and questioned my sanity. Cause that's always the true sign that I'm doing something right.

Think of something that you think is going to be unnecessarily hard to do, and do that thing. Prove to yourself you can do it. Think of something that you're desperately waiting on and wanting to happen now and allow yourself to surrender to the fact that it's already decided on when and how and if it will come to fruition. Show yourself you can surrender.

And then throw your arms up into the air and cheer for yourself a little bit. Preferably in public.