My heart crept up into my throat as we pulled out of the driveway. The same way it always does when I'm leaving. I kept focusing on a few hours from now when I would be settled back in, laundry put away, bed made up with clean sheets, and most likely out gallivanting around my neighborhood. I kept that thought in my mind until the feeling dissipated.
I've just finished two weeks of spending time with my family, outside of the city. Let me paint you a picture: it's a picturesque small town where you can't go anywhere without seeing someone you know. There are grassy parks where kids are playing soccer, and a town swimming pool that families congregate to on the weekends. The Fourth of July is taken with extreme seriousness, and there are three churches within one square mile. I spend my days in an air-conditioned, quiet, inviting space where there is a stocked fridge and cable television. In multiple rooms. I can walk around without socks on and not fear the dirt that is caking onto my skin. It is clean beyond clean. I get to drive with the windows down and music playing as loud as I want to, and I am usually en route to either my best friend's house, the Target that is but five minutes away, or the beach where I'll be greeted by more people that love me. Also, did I mention there is air-conditioning?
It is good, my friends. It. Is. Good.
Add to all of this awesomeness that I'm with my mom, who is my absolute best girl and favorite person to lounge around doing nothing with, and my two sweet baby doggies who are out of their mind happy with the space they have to play in, and their non-city walks full of beautiful grass to roll their doggie selves around in. And I am blessed beyond belief to be able to work from anywhere I am so location doesn't matter.
So you might be saying to yourself by now, "well Kerry, if it's so great, why don't you just stay there?". And to that I would say believe you me I have thought about it. But here's the kicker: just because something is comfortable, does not mean it is right for you.
One more time: just because something is comfortable, does not mean it is right for you.
This thought usually makes me groan and roll my eyes, but it's true. I know that right now I must be in New York City. That's it. I just know. If you know me in real life, you hear me talking lustfully about Los Angeles all the time. Guess what? If I was supposed to be in LA, I would be. It really is that simple. Right now, I'm supposed to be in New York City. If that changes or if I feel called elsewhere, then so it goes.
Sometimes this gives people a bit of a challenge because I can't exactly formulate why I need to be here except just that I do. And my friends, my beautiful souls, let me tell you something: just knowing where you need to be is enough of a reason to be there. (Unless, of course, you're, like, hurting someone or someone is hurting you, in which case you go on ahead and back the heck out of there right now.)
We can apply this to everything. Where you live, who you live with, how you spend your time, what you are doing with your life, what you want to be doing, and whom you choose to love. If you feel comfortable in your job but long to be doing something entirely different then it is time to make a move. If you feel comfortable in your relationship but feel more content then you feel in love, look into that. If you want to move to a city that you've never even been to, just because you feel like you are supposed to or something pinged in your brain when you heard of it the first time, then sweetheart, start packing. Don't waste your time worrying about what you may lose in your comfortable life. The things that will be waiting for you there will be so much better you can't even imagine them now.
Friends, I want to be clear here: being comfortable is not a sign that something is askew. You can absolutely be comfortable and happy at the same time. Just because you're comfortable in your relationship, doesn't mean it's time to break up. I'm talking about the kind of comfortable where we're keeping ourselves somewhere or in something just because it feels safe. Just because the fear of the unknown outweighs the fear of staying in something kind of so-so. That's where the red flags live. And the good news is when something is meant for us, we always get it. So maybe you do leave the comfortable, safe relationship for awhile. If you're meant to be with that person you'll find your way back around to them. Just how it works.
I'm back in the city now, with grime on my feet and my gloriously not air-conditioned apartment (send fans). Within an hour of being back, I found myself with exciting auditions and plans for the week, that seemingly came out of nowhere. Without a doubt, when we listen to ourselves, we are rewarded for being brave and trusting the calm, steady voice that guides us.
What are you feeling too comfortable with? What kind of change would you make if you weren't afraid?
Happy Monday, friends. Go get those dreams.
No comments:
Post a Comment