Worth It; Or, Another Lesson from Layla June

 

print found here

I posted an instagram the other day about Miss Layla June's tendency to throw middle of the night one-pup parties. She's the organizer of the event, and the only one who knows about it ahead of time. She rests up all day so that somewhere around 2 am she decides it's time to play. She crawls on my head, plays with my hair, sneezes and hacks up furballs, fluffs the blankets, bothers Henry, and jumps on and off the bed several times.

Layla June is not what I expected that sunshiney Saturday in Hollywood when we first met. My sweet, gentle darling was a ninja in secret, waiting until I signed the adoption papers to really get comfortable. That being said, she is a blessing and a gift to me in countless ways. Every time she drives me crazy or does something naughty, it really doesn't matter in the end. Her love outweighs her frustrating qualities. It's hard, but she's worth it.

That got me thinking: isn't everything great in this world part of that category? The things we never expected to be so hard, or take so long, or be so challenging, very often tend to be even better than we expected and totally worth it. I asked on instagram and got answers like:

• "My 3 month old daughter! She's not at all what I expected and neither is motherhood! It's harder than I could have imagined and yet it's totally worth it, like you said!"
• "Marriage! Even the second time around. We have to be careful of the fairytales that tell us at the end of the live story we live happily ever after. We have to work on the in between."
• "Recovering from brain surgery. I thought I'd be done by now and instead, I'm still in the thick of it. I had convinced myself that it was all about attitude but evidently my body disagrees."  
• "Madison. Madison is harder than I ever assumed and she's only a dog." 

That last one is from a fellow dog mama and made me laugh quite a bit.  But LOOK at these answers. These are hard things. Marriage, raising another human, recovering from brain surgery for goodness sake. Hard things that are so much more worth it than we imagined.

In our insta-everything world, we very often want what we want when we want it, like, right now. Now! Immediately! How great would it be if babies came potty trained, or we all instinctively knew how to do the things we want to pursue, or degrees were able to be picked off trees? Great, yes, but also kind of sad. It's in the earning, the navigating of these struggles, that we find the deeper joy in what we want.

Pursuing an acting career is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Luckily. But it is so much harder and more complicated than I thought it would be. For years (yeaaarrrss) I have wanted to be a part of Pilot Season, the time when all new tv shows are pitched and a pilot is made to determine if it will be a new show on a network. This year is the first year I am auditioning for pilots. Guess what? It's not at all what my conceptual idea of it was. I dreamed of pilot season as a time where I'd be in LA, driving from studio to studio, glamorous, looking great, and it being so simple. The reality of it is an insane amount of work and memorizing pages of lines very quickly, rushing from audition to audition, putting myself on tape nonstop to be sent to LA production teams. Last week, I even hid when I saw another audition come in. And yet, it's totally worth it.

Then there's Love. The conceptual idea of love is ever so delightful, right? Raising two rescue dogs out of their fears and behaviors continues to be incredibly challenging, and yet - so much love. Unconditional love. So worth the frustrations. Loving other people is not always an easy piece of cake but we know that's it's worth it in the end. A friend once told me he wanted to be wealthy, or at least set financially, before meeting anyone to be in a relationship with. I noted how much more it might mean to build up a life together, to grow side by side into success and wealth, that he didn't have to be "perfect" before allowing love into his heart. You'd have thought I just explained the meaning of life, his eyes got so wide. And yet, how often do we see folks in their 20's and 30's pushing off serious relationships until they get their lives "together", or have more money, or a higher title in the office, or some kind of success. In the meantime, they give up on people who they really care about and are missing the experience of something that, yes, can be really hard, yet is really incredible and worth navigating. Our expectations of relationships and what they're "supposed" to look like crush the chance of real love before we're even out of the gate. We can't control the order in which we are given things in our lives. But we can embrace each one with it's unique struggles and triumphs. Walking away from the hard things guarantees missing out on lessons and love carved out just for you.

It can seem tempting to give up on your dreams, your loved ones, your monetary goals, that crazy idea you have in the back of your head, but don't. If it's really hard, it's definitely worth it. And when you get those little glimpses of the light at the end of the tunnel, it makes it easier to keep going. Let each blessing hidden in your struggle turn into a stepping stone to launch you to the next step along the journey.

Okay, you tell me: what's something that has been unexpectedly hard in your life but is totally worth it? And if you have any hints on getting a Chihuahua-Ninja to sleep through the night, I'll take those, too ;) 

Vegan Holiday Deliciousness (for non-vegans, too!)

For any vegan, the holidays can be stressful and result in eating lots of random side dishes. Most traditional holiday meals include meats, fish, and dairy products in sides, such as milk in mashed potatoes, a cheese filled pasta dish, or creamed vegetables. This can cause quite a dilemma when filling up one's plate.

Enter the Vegan Holiday Cooking from Candle Cafe cookbook. This book is filled with beautiful images that will make your mouth water and recipes that are easy to follow and exciting to make for your next get-together. More over, they cover all sorts of holidays. Upon seeing the title of the book, I assumed there would only be recipes for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, and perhaps a Birthday celebration. Vegan Holiday Cooking from Candle Cafe covers every holiday from Super Bowl celebrations to Passover Sedar to Cinco de Mayo. The authors, and owners of the Candle Cafe restaurants, clearly put a lot of thought and time into creating the book and considering all varieties of vegans. For each holiday category, there's at least one beverage, appetizer, main dishes, and deserts.

The common belief about vegans is that we eat "rabbit food" like lettuce, carrots, and vegetables. It's simply not true! Vegans love everything that non-vegans like to eat, only we prefer ours with non-animal based ingredients. With all the options available to vegans, we can enjoy things like ice cream sandwiches and pizza and meatball subs, all without any ingredients that either don't work with our bodies, allergies, or moral opinions. Some of the recipes that really stood out to me in this yummy book are French Toast Coffee Cake, Pecan Pie with Cinnamon Ice Cream, Wheat Ball Heros, and Sweet Potato Latkes. Yum!

The only reason I gave this book 4.5 stars is because some of the recipes are a little tricky to make, and/or require equipment or products that I didn't have or couldn't find. However, I do feel with a little extra effort or a more stocked kitchen than an apartment of a 20-something year old, the recipes would be easy to make in all aspects.




As a New Yorker that loves to go to the Candle Cafe restaurants whenever possible, I can't wait to try every single recipe in this book! If you're a vegan, or love a vegan, definitely check it out! Happy Celebrating and get to cooking!

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

Choosing the Tea (and other important choices)

 

We have a Keurig in our house now. Do you know the joy that a Keurig brings? With the quick push of a button, you have yourself a hot beverage. In the morning, when it's cold, and you still don't have your contacts in, this is the kind of invention that makes you know for certain God loves you. Naturally, I decided now was a great time to start drinking coffee (well, start again, after drinking it most of my childhood, but that's a story for another day). It was so easy and so delicious and within days, I found myself feeling like making tea in the kettle was too much of a hassle.

I'm going to write that one more time: I found myself feeling like making tea was too much of a hassle. Uh, what now? Tea? The thing that involves water and a few minutes? Hm.

Just now, I went downstairs to make some chamomile tea before bed, and found my eyes instantly wandering to the Keurig and the hot chocolate K-cups sitting next to it. And this was when I realized I had a choice: do what I know is best for me and for my body, even though it would take a few extra minutes, or do the faster, not so good for me option.

I chose the tea.

I've found myself interested in paying attention to my choices and habits lately. What are the things that I frequently do that don't serve me? What do I purposefully choose to do that keeps me from living my best life? Why am I making those choices? And how can I easily fix them? Let's look at a few (and this is some real talk, friends):

1. I choose to go to sleep very late at night and therefore sleep in very late in the morning.
I'm a morning person. If you know me in real life, you're probably crying from laughter, as nearly every day, I sleep until whenever I want to. Without a set schedule, unless I have an early morning audition or coaching, I can wake up as late as 11 without blinking an eye. Since I'm choosing to stay up super late at night, I'm making it so I'm too tired to get up early. It's easy to let netflix keep playing episode after episode. It's easy to distract myself by scrolling on instagram for hours. It's easy to declare I'm most productive after midnight. You know what takes a little work? Getting to bed earlier. Turning off the computer. Putting the phone down. Not eating sugary snacks or drinking anything caffeinated later in the day. Choosing to get a good night's rest so I can wake up ready to take on the world. That's a little harder, choosing what's best for me.

2. I choose to eat poorly, quickly, or not at all. It's so darn easy to microwave something, and if it says vegan on the front it can totally make you think you're eating something healthy. It's easy to pick up take out, especially in New York City where whatever you want is at your fingertips. It's a little harder to take the time to plan meals in advance, go grocery shopping, and prepare a healthy dinner for yourself. And if we're talking breakfast (aka I'm late, I have to run out the door, oh this doughnut looks great) or lunch (sitting at a desk, more take out, skipping it entirely, a diet coke counts right, etc), well we can just forget it. You know how great you feel when you're eating whole foods, making fresh juices or herbal teas, and generally not eating anything that comes in a cardboard box? Yeah, me too. It's awesome. And we can feel like that all the time. It's about making the choice to.

3. I choose to put things off. Another favorite habit is "I'll just do that later". The laundry is ready to be folded? I'll just do that later. There's 46 new emails in my inbox? I'll just do that later. The dogs would probably really like to go romp in the park a little? I'll just do that later with a side of guilt please. I have things that I've been saying I'll do later from, like, October. And from last summer. And some from 2007. It's easy to say we'll take care of something later on or tomorrow, but the truth is we're just choosing to be lazy. I love lazy. If there was a Queen crowned of laziness it would be me. But you know what feels even better than laying on a comfy couch? Actively taking care of the things in your life. My newest rule is if it would take me less time to just do the darn thing than it would to stand there and debate if I should do it now or later, just do it. When my coat is thrown over a chair and needs to be hung up, that will take like 8 seconds total. Getting the mail? Maybe a minute, plus Henry loves to get the mail. Which leads me to taking the dogs on a walk. If I don't take the dogs out (they're potty pad trained so it's always an option, plus Layla doesn't do cold, rain, or snow), I will literally feel bad the entire rest of the day. Have you ever seen the World's Most Handsome Dog staring out the window longingly? Of course you haven't because then you would be in my house and that would be creepy, but let me tell you, it will break your heart. I've spent hours trying to explain storms to Henry to no avail ("stoooooorm. make boom-boom-boom noises. it's wet. weTTTT. no walk in thunderstorm. do you understand what mommy is saying?"). If I just get up off my Queen Lazy butt and take them out for 10 minutes, we're all incredibly happier.

These are just three examples, but I'll bet they resonate. Why do we do this? I've been writing and analyzing on this for about a week now and I keep ending up at the same place: we're scared to live our best lives. We're scared to hold ourselves accountable to really living. We're scared to not have anything to complain about. We're also not so sure we're good enough or worth so much effort. After all, we're messy, flawed, mistake-making humans. Why should we be good to ourselves when most days we're mad at ourselves? Because we deserve it. You and I deserve our best lives. It is really scary to get what you want. It's really scary to change and grow beyond our current limit. We grow past people, and that's scary. We grow out of jobs, and that's scary. We grow so much we find ourselves in new cities, new homes, new relationships, new careers. And it's so scary. But the alternate, the staying stuck, the "this is okay, I guess" feeling, is so much worse. And so very permanent.

This week I'm challenging myself to make very small changes that will potentially produce big results. I'm planning to go to bed by 11, no computer, phone, or social media at all, and am challenging myself to hit a list of daily tasks that I mostly always do but sometimes skip, such as meditating twice a day, stretching, taking the dogs out twice, and some other things. Will it work? We'll find out. Take a look around at your own habits this week. What do you do to stop yourself from living your best life? Why are you doing it? Is it easily fixable? Let's talk here or on instagram, and start making better choices together.

Mustard Seed Sessions: Britt Douglas

I'm so excited to be sharing this interview with you! Britt is a hard-working, inspiring, beautiful woman who is the voice behind Gallery No. Eight. Hailing from Toronto, she creates and designs websites, prints, and the girl can seriously do her nails. Check out her instagram and make sure to follow along as she and I are hosting a fun giveaway to go along with this interview!

 

MSCo: What's a day in your life like?

BD: I usually try and wake up between 6:30-7, have a little quiet time, then breakfast, and then get my bum over to my desk usually between 8-9am. Lunch is usually around noon, and after that I'll work again until around 3-4pm. I like to step away from my computer in the evenings, but after dinner I will occasionally pop back over just to finish up a few things. Every day is different in terms of what I'm working on, but it's always a mix of client work, blog work & so many emails!

MSCo: What prompted you to start your business?

BD: After starting my blog, I started playing around with it's design & found I really enjoyed it. Design has always been a love of mine, and blog design was the perfect mix of art & 'science' for me. I helped a friend out with her blog, and it grew from there. I now offer branding in addition to web design, and am thinking of opening up a little print shop in 2015 :)

MSCo: Is your business your full time job? If not, what else do you do? If yes, how long were you doing it before it became full time?

BD: Yes, I work for myself full time. When I graduated university, I'd already been working at this for a few months. I did apply to other jobs & even internships, but never heard back from any of them. I took that as a sign to continue doing what I was already doing & just grew it from there.

MSCo: What would you tell your 20-year old self? 

BD: To work hard at what I want, and to take more chances. I remember discovering the youtube beauty scene in 2009, and was thisclose to starting a channel. I'm still kicking myself for not!

MSCo: What's the worst job you've ever had?

BD: I can't say that I've had too many bad jobs in my life (so far!), and even the ones I didn't enjoy I definitely learned from, so I try & look at it from that perspective. (Boring answer I know!)

MSCo: What's the best piece of advice you've ever gotten?

BD: This quote: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/309485-nobody-tells-this-to-people-who-are-beginners-i-wish

MSCo: What's the hardest part about pursuing a "non-traditional" career? The best part?

BD: I think the initial reaction from family & friends was the toughest - they just didn't see it as a 'job' and didn't understand what I did. And that frustrated me for a while, but I started 'inviting' them into my process more, and talking about my work & what was going well, what wasn't, etc, and I think they slowly began to 'get it' :) The best part is definitely my work environment. I work by myself, in a nice quiet space, and that is absolutely my best working condition. I know that isn't the case for everyone (and some just won't understand! To those I suggest reading 'Quiet' by Susan Cain :) ), but I really do my best work alone, in a quiet space.

 

 

 

 

MSCo: What or who inspires you?

BD: Gosh - tough question! I think people who constantly explore and push and discover new methods and ideas and designs - that's incredibly inspiring. And I think genuine authenticity is beautiful - not hiding behind perfectly styled shots (although I must admit to be guilty of that!), but people who are so able to open up their hearts & share, that always gets me.

 

Thanks so much, Britt! Make sure to check out her blog, and join us on Instagram to enter to win one of her gorgeous Love Deeply or Psalm 23 Prints!

And Then 24 Hours Later.

// Let me tell you about this day.

It was so chaotic. An early start, freezing cold weather, my phone going off seemingly nonstop. I was trying to answer every single text and call, my hands shaking with frustration, my head ready to explode. A ton of subway rides uptown and back downtown. So much to do, so much pressure. An audition where I was recording take after take after take convinced I was sucking so hard. A meeting where I was convinced I worse than suck, I'm boring, and ugly, and all sorts of painful thoughts. Even more texts and calls. Walking home, tears falling out of my eyes, the phone glued to my ear, and words tumbling out like "it's too much, I'm so overwhelmed, I'm so frustrated".

It was an ordeal.


// Let me tell you about this day.

It was filled with lots of awesome. An early start, chilly weather meant lots of layers, and my phone going off nonstop. I responded briefly with boundaries and non-negotiable sentences. I did what I could and ignored the rest because they could wait. A ton of subway rides up and down town, thinking about how cool it is that just two stops apart can feel like a whole other world, and how different the financial district feels from uptown. So much to do, so much excitement. An audition where I recorded take after take after take thinking that they really like me, enjoying the variety and getting to play with text. A meeting where I felt light and easy and made the other person laugh, enjoying their company and conversation. Being authentic to who I am and asking questions that matter. Walking home, hot chocolate in hand, laughing over how cold I am and praying for the people and animals stuck outdoors tonight, thanking God I had a home to go to.

It was an adventure.


Day 1 was yesterday. Day 2 was today. No difference other than a state of mind. I had an audition and a meeting on both days. I had certain other identical tasks on both days. You get to choose every day which route to go, ordeal or adventure. It's not based on the circumstances or the other people. Other people and lots of circumstances can suck, they just do. It doesn't mean you have to let them take you down.

Lately, more and more I hate the phrase "choose to be happy". Fuck that shit, most people have no idea how to actively choose to be happy. Moreover, I think it's insulting and frustrating to people who honestly cannot choose happiness, making them feel like less of a person because they think others can wake up and simply say "and today I'll be happy!", when they are fighting a war daily just to get out of bed. But here's what I fully support: choose to learn how to choose happiness. Learn how to navigate your state of mind, and know the navigation tools are different for everyone. Some people need a learned practice, some people need prayer, some people need exercise, some need all three, some need none of the above. Find out what you need and learn how to utilize it to your advantage so you can make the choice to have the adventure every day, so you can choose this day, so you can choose yourself, so you can then choose happiness. Fight like hell to learn what you need so that you can go from day 1 above to day 2 above in less than a handful of hours. Fight like hell for your right to be happy. The ordeal is bullshit, the adventure is real.

You're A Sponge (Soak Carefully)

I woke up this morning kind of blah. Not sad, nothing was wrong, I had gotten plenty of sleep, but just blah. I spent a bit of time figuring out what happened and within minutes I got it.

1. I saw a musical last night that was sort of emotionally overwhelming. It was a lot of sad situations and a lot of talking about wondering about the 'what-ifs' in life.
2. The last conversations I had last night and the first this morning were of negative context. Not anything bad just the regular eye-rolling type of stuff.
3. I had a phone call to make that made me a little nervous. Again, nothing serious, something great actually, but the fear of the unknown was there.

1 + 1 + 1 = oh no, let's go back to bed!

We MUST be careful with what we take in. We have to be (bonus points if you hear Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail saying "she has to be! she has to be!"). You are your own advocate for your life. What you read, watch, say, think, talk about, hear, and absorb directly affect you.

It's often easy to forget that the people we encounter daily affect us the most. It's definitely easy to forget that griping or complaining or finding common things to sigh over, is not acceptable. And here's why that's tricky: the general consensus of society is that it IS acceptable! And you better join in! No. No, no, no. If the people you deal with are bringing you down, do something about it. If they're super important people so you can't just peace out on them (you know, family, friends, loved ones, etc), then start changing the way you speak and allow to be spoken to. If the agreement you have going is that you both listen to each other talk about all the harrddd things in your liiiiffe, make a new agreement. Shoot, you don't even have to tell them. Just start talking about different things, be positive, give compliments, share what you're excited about. They'll step up. You are a sponge. What you soak up, gets in. Soak carefully.

You were not put on this planet to be upset. You were not given this gift of a new day to complain or feel bad for yourself. Figure out what's causing your wah-wahs, do something about it, and choose to make today amazing. Okay, ready? Go!

Words That Matter

Some recent testimonials from clients. Every time an email like this shows up in my inbox, I'm blown away. We're in this together, friends. Spread kindness, help where you can, use your gifts, believe in each other, let's go, let's go, let's go.